Agony and Rapture
by Stirling Phoenix
Summary: One year after the final duel...."He shouldn’t have answered the phone. He should have listened to his body begging for sleep. He should have just returned the call in the morning. But no, he was just too good of a friend no ignore this caller...


Disclaimer: Would the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh! be writing YGO fanfiction? Somehow I doubt it but if anyone finds Kazuki Takahashi, (creator of YGO,) on this site then I would be forced to reconsider.

Rating: T for shonen ai.

Dedicated to Val-Creative for her birthday. She is a fabulous writer and an amazing friend. I personally recommend her fanfiction to everyone! She's written a lot over several fandoms so it won't be hard to find something of her's that you'll like!

**Agony and Rapure**

Chapter 1

Misery Loves Company

Almost a year had passed since the final duel. Twelve complete months since he had passed the test that had freed the pharaoh from the confines of the Millennium Puzzle and sent him to the spirit world. Three –hundred and sixty-five agonizing days filled with loneliness, depression, and misery, three major hindrances that would cease to be if _he_ were still here.

Part of him knew that he was being foolish. A small part of him knew that somewhere deep inside he had the strength to carry on, to start a new life. After all, his Yami would have won the duel if he was still needed. If Yami had won the duel then that would have meant Yugi hadn't learned what he needed to and therefore, was still in need of the great pharaoh's help. But obviously, that was not the case. Yugi had successfully acquired all of the knowledge the great Pharaoh Atem had to offer and because of Yugi's bravery and skill, was able to pass on and live his afterlife in the spirit world where he truly belonged.

Thanks to Atem and the power within the Millennium Puzzle, Yugi now had the best friends anyone could ask for, Anzu Mazaki, Hiroto Honda, and Katsuya Jonouchi. Of course Yugi considered many other people to be his friends, Ryuji Otogi, Ryo Bakura, and even Seto Kaiba, but Anzu, Honda, and Jonouchi were the ones that had seen Yugi through on everything, thick and thin. The quartet was together so often that it was only natural for them to keep in close contact after the Pharaoh had left them. And just like good friends should, Anzu, Honda, and Jonouchi never treated their shorter friend any differently after the duel. He knew that loneliness should not have been an issue for him at all, and Yugi was truly grateful for the everlasting friendships he had, but sometimes friendship just wasn't enough.

A bigger part of him regretted having set the Pharaoh free. That part of him longed for Atem's constant companionship and missed the spirit always watching over him. Without Atem, Yugi felt that he had lost everything. When the Pharaoh had come into Yugi's life, everything had changed. He was no longer lonely, he became more confident and able to stand up for himself, and best of all, he had made friends, friends that would be with him forever. Even though he had been granted his wish for friends Yugi still felt as if his happiness had been ripped away from him when the Pharaoh left.

Everything in his life seemed like a chore now. The amount of effort it took him to put on that cheerful, happy-go-lucky smile he wore everyday was getting almost too painful to accomplish. Yugi had lost track of the numerous times that he almost broke down in tears over the Pharaoh. The depression affected him so much that getting up in the morning to go hang out with his friends sometimes seemed pointless, too much work even.

He appreciated the oblivious attitudes of his friends, but at the same time despised it. He was glad that he was able to put up a good face for everyone, even if he didn't know how he was able to. If those three people were his best friends, how comes they couldn't see his pain, his suffering? Was he that good at hiding his true feelings? Even though the people closest to him didn't seem to notice, he doubted it.

He had once thought that the mask that hid his emotions was perfect, but nothing was ever perfect.

Whether it was on purpose or not, Bakura had given Yugi all the proof he needed to confirm that his act was indeed, not perfect. One eye-to-eye moment and Yugi could see that Bakura knew everything. Bakura saw Yugi's pain and agony, but yet he said nothing. At first Yugi thought that Bakura didn't approach him because it just wasn't like Bakura to do so. Bakura wasn't the type to share his problems, so maybe he was just allowing Yugi to keep living his lie. But after awhile, Yugi came to a different conclusion about Bakura's silence. Bakura didn't keep silent for the sake of Yugi's charade, but rather because he had nothing to say. Like Yugi, Bakura also lost his yami a year ago. However, unlike Yugi, Bakura didn't mourn the loss of his darker half. In fact, Bakura's life only improved. In seeing how happy Bakura now was, Yugi could understand Bakura's silence. What did he expect Bakura to say? "_I'm terribly sorry that I can't relate to you, Yugi. Unlike your yami, who improved your life and became your closest friend, my yami made my life a living hell for the past three years, not that you would have known. So yes, I'm quite content with my life now, only wish you could be as happy…."_

Yugi would be forever grateful that Bakura wasn't the type to boast about his good fortune.

kxa~

It was 10:30 at night. The boy genius that had solved the Millennium Puzzle was readying himself for bed. After all, he wouldn't want to be tired for another day of hiding his inner misery when a happy-go-lucky smile and optimistic attitude.

_I'm always one card short, always one day late. For once I'd like an ending I could cele…._

He shouldn't have answered the phone. He should have listened to his body begging for sleep. He should have just returned the call in the morning. But no, he was just too good of a friend no ignore _this _caller.

If it were any other ringtone, it would have been a text or someone Yugi didn't care to speak with at the moment and therefore, would have simply ignored it. But this song indicated that not only was it a phone call, but it was from Katsuya. Yugi had noticed that Katsuya had not been acting like himself lately. At first it was nothing. Katsuya would be somber, quiet, almost like he was in trance one day, and then the next he'd be back to his normal, loud, sometimes obnoxious self. The tri-colored teen had passed it off as Katsuya having a bad or off day. Of all people, Yugi knew that everyone was entitled to have at least a few bad days. But then those 'bad' or 'off' days became more frequent. The normally goofy and aloof blonde had definitely been acting strange during the past few days, stranger than normal, and everyone had noticed it. Anzu, Honda, and Yugi had all questioned their friend about his abnormal behavior. But when questioned, Jonouchi would suddenly regain his carefree composure and reassure his friends that he was okay, that he was just thinking about a few trivial things he had to do when he got home, that was all.

Of course, then Honda would come back with some comment like, 'I didn't know you even had a brain to think with, Jonouchi!' And without fail, the insult to his intelligence would rile him up and he and Honda would be at it again.

But Yugi knew his friend too well to buy his story. The boisterous Katsuya Jonouchi could not be silenced. Characteristically, if Jonouchi had something on his mind, he said it out loud, unless of course, it really bothered him. Sensing that his blonde friend did not want to cause a scene, Yugi let the taller teen have his way. _People like Katsuya can't keep their emotions hidden forever. He'll come to me when he's ready, _Yugi thought. Considering that Katsuya was bothering to call him instead sending of a simple text message, Yugi judged his assumption as correct.

Before the word 'celebrate' could be finished, Yugi had his phone flipped open and pressed against his ear. In keeping consistent with his always 'happy' mood, Yugi feigned cheerfulness and answered, "Hello, Jonouchi?"

"Yugi? Um, hi! Um, how've you been?"

Yugi giggled slightly at his friend's awkwardness over the phone. "Well Jonouchi, we just finished gaming at the arcade with Anzu and Honda a few hours ago. I was fine then, so I would think that I'm still fine now."

"Well ya know Yug," the blonde stated in a matter-of-factly tone, "a lot can change in only a few hours time."

"As true as that is, my state as wellbeing has not," Yugi informed.

"Well that's good to know," Jonouchi half-heartedly joked. "You sound tired, did I wake you up?"

"No, actually I was just getting ready for bed," Yugi replied.

"I see. Well then I guess I can talk to you tomorrow-"

"No, it's okay," Yugi said in a reassuring voice. "We can talk.

"Actually Yug, I need to talk to you, in person," the blonde responded in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

"Ummm , okay," he was slightly taken back. _What could be so important to Jonou that it couldn't be discussed over the phone?_ "Would you like to come over?"

"Yeah, that would be great. I'll be over in ten."

The next thing Yugi heard was the soft click of a phone being hung up.

A sudden feeling of nervousness and uneasiness swept over the small teen. He simply couldn't fathom what was causing his friend to act this way. When Katsuya had a problem, he was always open about it, no matter what. When given enough emotion to rant on he would discuss is feelings of inferiority with Kaiba, which led to his poor self-esteem issues, and even his broken family. When it came to his friends, Katsuya Jonouchi was honest and open on every aspect of his life. So why was Katsuya being so distant now? Yugi had the feeling that it would take more than his normal pep talk to cheer the blonde up. If Yugi was right and Katsuya's problem was even more in depth, he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it without breaking down himself.

"Yugi!" a voice called from downstairs, interrupting Yugi from his thoughts. "Jounochi's here to see you!"

"Send him up to my room, please, Grandpa!" Yugi called back.

"Sure thing, Yugi!"

Within moments the blonde appeared before his doorway. "Thanks, for having me over I mean."

Once again, the tri-colored teen couldn't help but laugh at his best friend's awkwardness. "You can come in, you know. Would you mind closing the door behind you though?

The taller of the two boys chuckled slightly as he stepped inside and complied with his friend's wish.

"Make yourself comfortable," Yugi encouraged, feeling weird when doing so. Normally by now Jonouchi would have thrown himself on the smaller boy's bed and started chatting away aimlessly on one topic or another.

"Thanks, but I'd prefer to stand," Katsuya replied as he began to walk back and forth across Yugi's room, which was quite small, so unfortunately that didn't leave the blonde much pacing space.

"Um, okay," Yugi made the unanimous decision that Jonouchi's behavior was getting stranger by the moment, so therefore it was best to comply with him within reason.

Several moments passed while Yugi watched his apparently stressed out friend go back and forth about his room. If it were any other situation he would have found the scene to be slightly comical. Jonouchi's strides were so long and rapid that he could only take about three or four steps before he had to turn around and go in the other direction, unless of course he wanted to try walking through a wall or a desk. With the way Jonou was acting, Yugi didn't put it past him. He also noticed the emotion in the manner of Katsuya's actions. Frustration, or anger, perhaps?

_This is getting ridiculous, _Yugi thought. Normally he was a patient person and he didn't want to press his friend, but with his own recent emotional dilemmas, the patience he had was quickly wearing thin. "Jonouchi, what's-"

"I'M GETTING TO IT! WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP?! CAN'T A GUY HAVE A MINUTE TO STRAIGHTEN OUT HIS THOUGHTS?"

Katsuya's sudden outburst frightened him. Katsuya was not the angry or violent type, but he was really starting to freak Yugi out. He involuntarily let out a gasp in surprise, a gasp that did not unnoticed by his frantic friend.

In noticing that he had unintentionally startled his best friend, he stopped his absurd pacing and stood before the smaller boy. "Yugi, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Yugi interrupted. "I know you didn't mean it, but you can make it up to me by stopping your frantic pacing and sitting down with me to talk."

"Okay," the blonde agreed as he sat down on the bed to Yugi, however refusing to look in Yugi's direction. "The thing is, it's just really hard to say. I don't know how to bring this up."

"It's okay," Yugi replied, ignoring the fact that Jonou was looking across the room as he spoke. "Just start with what's bothering you the most, like you always do."

"It's a little different this time, Yugi. It's not what's bothering me," Katsuya said as he suddenly turned, making direct eye contact with his best friend so that serious honey-colored eyes locked onto confused, somewhat frightened violet-colored ones. "It's what's bothering you."

His violet eyes dilated to an unreasonable size. He could understand how Bakura could see through his mask, but Jonouchi? No way, that was impossible. Yugi had been too careful when it came to hiding how he truly felt. How could Katsuya know? If someone were asked to describe the blonde's personality, being observable would never be an answer. Even though the sudden change in his pupil size had probably given him away, Yugi still tried to keep up his act. "Me?! I don't know what you're talking about. I mean you really think that-"

"Save it," Katsuya interrupted. "I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am, and I notice a lot more then I'm given credit for."

"Jonouchi, I had no idea," he seriously had no idea.

"Of course not," he agreed. "Life's a lot more fun when you're joyful and fun-loving like I am. In addition to my own happiness, I maintain this persona for everyone else. The things I notice I either A: don't care about, or B: know that it's none of my business. "But when it comes to you, I can't help but worry. We're best buds, Yug. You shouldn't be keeping things from me. I can see your sadness. It tears me apart to know that you feel so alone and miserable."

"And just what do you think I'm keeping from you?" Yugi asked, skeptical as to whether or not Jonou actually knew what he was talking about. He couldn't keep the defensive tone from his voice. "Why do you think I'm so sad, lonely, and miserable?"

"I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop messing with me. I'm talking about your problem with letting go of the Pharaoh."

"Jonouchi," Yugi tried to reason, "the Pharaoh has been gone for almost a year. Why would you think that I have a problem with letting go of the Pharaoh?"

"Because you've been in an emotional low for about a year now. I figured that you'd eventually express your feelings to me, but you never did. When something bothers you this much you can't keep it to yourself forever. If you do you'll end up hurting yourself. Since I consider myself to be your best friend I can't let that happen."

The blonde's persistence was beginning to irritate him. "You're right about what you said before. This is none of your business. So what if I have a problem? Everyone has at least one problem to deal with in his or her life."

"Yugi, I get that. But letting the Pharaoh go was for the best. I mean, he had been in this world for over three millennia. He deserved to finally go to the spirit world. I'm sure you can agree with that. Now you can live your life as your own, aren't you happy that you have that freedom?"

Jonouchi's words ignited the spark to Yugi's anger. In one swift motion he was off the bed and standing in front of the blonde so he was at eye level with him. He glared menacingly in a way that Katsuya thought only Kaiba capable of. "How dare you? How could you think that I would be happy about Atem's passing away? He helped me with so much. He was there for me for everything and I could talk to him about anything. He, he was my best friend. Actually, he was more to me than a best friend. We had special relationship."

_More than a best friend__? Special relationship? _Katsuya mentally winced when he heard those words. For a moment he wished that he truly was clueless. At least then he'd be spared the pain of knowing what the shorter teen had meant when he said that. "Yugi, I didn't know. I-"

"Of course you didn't know. I never talked about it with anyone other than him. Back then I was happy, so neither you nor anyone else had reason to worry. And now he's gone and I'm miserable. You could never understand my pain, so why even bother?" Tears began to swell in the boy's eyes.

"Maybe I'd understand if you let me in! If you let me in and just talked to me I could help you. Maybe you were too busy obsessing over the pharaoh and wallowing in your own self-misery to notice, but the Pharaoh wasn't the only one who cared for you. The Pharaoh wasn't the only one who loved you!"

The sudden, unexpected confession caught Yugi off guard. It took him second to process Jonou pulling his small body into his arms and seizing his lips in a kiss that expressed all the feelings that Katsuya had harbored within his soul for far too long.

When the kiss was broken a moment later Yugi was thrown aside on his bed while the blonde ran from the room in sheer embarrassment.

"Wait!" Yugi screamed as he ran from this room, following Jonouchi in an attempt to stop him. "WAIT!"

However, it was too late. Katsuya was just too fast. By the time Yugi had hit the stairs Jonouchi had left the game shop.

Seeing that catching him was impossible, the boy reluctantly gave up and returned to his room. _Was I really so blind that I was oblivious to Katsuya's feelings? _

He felt awful, but he didn't know what to do. He had been in love with the Pharaoh for so long; he didn't think it was possible for him to love another. There was no way in good conscience that he could return Katsuya's feelings with equal passion when he had been in love with Atem for what seemed like forever. How could he face Katsuya ever again?

Midnight. To think, he would have been sound asleep by now if he had ignored that call. If only he had gone to sleep at 10:30p.m. as planned, he wouldn't have had to cry himself to sleep.

So, what did ya'll think? ^^  
I hope you like this so far Val!


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